>Perimenopause has entered the Chat<
WOW!! I have never felt so seen after writing about my experience with Perimenopause.
Turns out- there are a million symptoms and some of the things that I’ve been also chalking up to stress could very well be symptoms too!
I was going to share the initials of each contributor but then some of you came in to the shop to give me a hug and talk more so I’ve lost count of all the submissions. Below I have listed everything I got in email or in-person.
I thank you all for interacting too because it is the hardest time of the year for me and the shop and the conversations, hugs, check-ins are so so so appreciated. We’re going to get through this…all of it…right?
So, here it is…your words of encouragement, advice and commiserating all in one place—
Drink Water and Breathe- Mel
Thank you for writing about this- please also tell every one that if you have a symptom of ANYTHING…look up it plus the word menopause or perimenopause to see if that’s what you’re experiencing. Gum Pain? Gum+ Pain + Perimenopause. Knee Aches for no reason? Knee+aches+perimenopause. Etc Etc.
I recommend you talk with Celia Layman, and consider Embrace the Change...
What a wonderful bag of tips in your post! While I’m far past this need, I still need all of the tips for aging well!
I’m going through perimenopause right now (I’m 46) and the brain fog was driving me nuts. I’m feeling a bit better now that my husband (gently) pointed out that the brain fog was undoubtedly connected to perimenopause (and not stress, going insane, early-onset dementia, etc…). I’m also not enjoying the hair thinning…
I don’t have any major tips, but I do take magnesium at night, along with vitamin C, vitamin D and zinc during the winter. I often do a round of gentle yoga poses (thread the needle, child’s pose, sphinx, reclining knee to chest (or ½ happy baby), and reclining spinal twist) on the bed for 30 seconds each, which really helps me sleep.
A colleague told me that when she was in perimenopause a couple decades ago, her gyn prescribed yam cream, which helped her a lot.
Good luck and I’m looking forward to your next perimenopause post.
This is what newsletters are made for. You’re sharing your experiences and it hit a nail on the head for me —I’m not talking about going through perimenopause because I don’t want anyone to know that I’m aging in that way! I’m 38, I should be embracing these changes and remembering how strong women really are…certainly the strongest of sexes. I appreciate you.
Bondi Boost from Ulta literally saved my hair! I have little hairs growing in after 6 month on it!
I started taking Magnesium at night and using your magnesium spray from the shop after the shower too and then putting socks on. I SWEAR I feel a difference! Great price on the Magnesium spray you make, by the way. $13 is so accessible!
I thought all of my molars were falling out recently. They just hurt every time I ate. Turns out I have perfect teeth but I’m going through perimenopause!
LOVE LOVE LOVE Tulsi Tea and the Reishi too. I swear by them. Have you tried The Ordinary Multi-Peptide serum for hair? It’s helped me with density!
Having gone through the WORST perimenopause – thank you for the wonderful note.
I want to bring up some things to you.
Hysterectomy – we tend as a society to be hysterectomy crazy. Even if you leave your ovaries – the production of hormones may change once the uterus is removed. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/study-finds-women-at-greater-risk-of-depression-anxiety-after-hysterectomy/ I will leave it up to you to research this more thoroughly – but I became suicidal. Thankfully my Russian gynecologist’s mother tried to jump out of their 16th floor apartment in Russia (which is why she became a gynecologist) and got me on anti-depressants.
People tend to dismiss this as – you lost your uterus – you feel less like a woman. This is not that kind of depression. It’s not malaise or hysteria. It is literally not seeing any light under the door. It is the loss of all hope. It is completely understanding why people commit suicide.
Floods - your uterus will release blood in torrents – it will soak through your clothes, it will stain on someone’s new upholstered dining chairs, it will drip onto the ground and leave a puddle or leave a small pool in a plastic chair you were sitting in – and there is no way to hide the event. Not predictable. A pad will not help. Perhaps a diaper – but usually it comes out with force – not much can soak that much blood that quickly. You will be shamed by men and other women. The positive? Absolutely nothing will embarrass you in the future.
Lost Hormones – you will need to get hormone replacements. In my case, my entire Los Angeles – WOKE dance community shunned me – as my dance instructor who I thought was a friend – told everyone I was on drugs. No one in this college educated group understood that you have a loss of hormones your body normally produces. So everyone who saw me would mimic someone throwing pills in their mouth like I was an addict. I don’t even drink alcohol. I never have smoked pot or done any drugs – no shade – but I don’t do them. Most of my friends smoke pot as they are artists. It’s the irony that I don’t do anything. This is a bigger deal than you think. The hormones though will take time to balance – and will change as your body is going dynamically through this process. I am still having trouble. Hormone replacement therapy ABSOLUTELY improve the hair issue you mentioned as well as your skin turning into leather. (I would also consider Rogaine – I use it).
Weight gain – yes that sexy thicker body you always wanted. You can’t avoid it. And your body wants to put fat around your organs. Having to accept this as your new identity – being a butter bean vs a string bean is difficult with everything else going on with your body.
Anyway –having gone through this hysterectomy – I want to shout from the mountaintops for women to be aware this may happen to them.
If someone doesn't have to go through what I did-tell them. It's a hidden secret. And we compile it as "mental illness." But it's not. It's chemical imbalance and directly linked to hysterectomies.
This is just a tip in the iceberg. And just like postnatal depression, is swept under the rug. The woman "feels" she is no longer a complete woman.
How about losing an organ and the changes thereafter especially one that regulates your well being?
The shame from women is truly the worst because it's not ladylike. I still feel infuriated about "my friends" and community. Still nothing can embarrass me now and you get so much empathy. You see a woman going through it, you get paper towels, sit her down somewhere and get her tea.
Intrusive thoughts…I don’t hear people talk about it enough but my best friend and I have been and we read that it was also related to perimenopause! We totally don’t ever remember having intrusive thoughts until the last year. Like while driving and just thinking how interesting it would be if a plane crashed in the distance and we saw it…or holding my phone in my hand on my deck and thinking “hmmm I could just throw this in the woods right now and be done with the conversation” or while walking “what if I just tripped down this hill and fell end over end for a mile?” It’s so weird!
I get a massage or body work every few months and that has helped calm the stress of knowing I’m going through perimenopause. It is sometimes painful and blood keeps coming and coming and soaking through everything. I have been an embarrassed wreck and really appreciate what you wrote.
Grieving! No one talks about the Grieving your changing body. I know it’s for the best and all what nature intends but watching my hair go and my belly soften and my thighs stop toning was really hard for me since I was an athlete all my life! I’ll never stop running…it’s just a lot more jiggly now and that sometimes hurts my heart.
Therapy has helped me a lot. I went to the women’s initiative in Charlottesville to get a referral and now I go there a few times a month.
My taste buds changed. All of a sudden I needed more and more salt and it was dehydrating me. Like a double-edged sword because then the dehydration caused more brain fog. I have found it helpful to have hydration tablets or lemon or lime in my water.
Women are amazing. I’m a guy and here to just write to you and say I’ve never heard of this and I can’t believe that even after all women do for the world—they’re still learning about their own bodies. I am in awe.
Let’s not stop talking about it, friends. We are all in this together and don’t forget to check out that one link shared for a local group:
